Phase

[Eλισαβετ]

Dead ends,

 powerful words,

feelings of a roll-coaster that make you vomit

 out of the disgust that you feel for yourself.

Big decisions!

like adults they say should be made •

but when the pain speaks

there is only my breath and nothing to say.

Back and forwards, no replays.

Movies with happy ends and tragic Broadway plays,

 combined to "I'm just going through a phase"! 

I am strong or am I weak,

shakespeare's thoughts to be or not to be ?

A silent lough a wound like sand,

 vanished in the air to an unknown land.

I am afraid what I see is a crossroad

that I don't want to be!

Turning left is where my heart leads

but turning right is what "they" need,

 going back is not like me,

going forward there is a dead end to be!

Crying, laughing, screaming, fighting....

Who am I ?

Should I lie or should I dive? 

Is just life , only once, shall I leave or take my chance? 

Runaway and live free

or

stay behind and give a smile but not to me?

Do I love or do I try ,

it's not easy but who is blind?

Is it me or my ego that loves what reflects  in the mirror ?

that's not me!

I decline the accusation!

That's my subconscious trying to be revengeful! 

Just a girl who tried ,broke down...

But became a woman ready to face the crowd!

Years of silence on a paper ,

what I need to say

 is that life is tasteless

without some salt and pepper !